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A Tribute to our Palawan Trip [25 Apr 2007|12:09am] [ mood | achu ] 1 win|score

a package for the family [29 Mar 2007|08:34pm] i love it.. when papa guchi sends packages from japan... means only one thing!!! U M E B O S H I... yum yum. i love. score

[27 Mar 2007|03:01am] excited nako.... sana wednesday naaa! my first LOMO... an LC-A. Beauty! 7 wins|score

i am so ready [20 Mar 2007|05:57pm] i'm so ready to ride that ferry boat... i'm so ready for that interview... i'm so ready to see the ocean... i'm so ready to start anew... i am just so ready. rik rak score

inggitera [09 Mar 2007|02:29am] [ music | stories - trapt ] nainggit ako.... hindi ako inggitera pero nainggit ako nyemas na buhay to o ayokong naiinggit pero nainggit ako napatanong tuloy ako ng bigla... bakit di ganyan yung sa .... anaknampusanggala basta ayoko ng naiinggit. pero di yun ang point. ang point eh, nainggit ako so bad trip. laos. score

Bagong Agos [16 Jan 2007|11:01pm] It was such a high... to be with all those filmmakers tonight. to see the unity of them independent filmmakers to hear them speak of their wisdom and their experiences im so high right now all i can think of is how happy i am to be in the industry not perfect but hey it's slowly... slowly... you know what i mean. and i am proud P R O U D... So you guys watch and support the independent film industry or the plain industry itself. IndieSine - Robinson's galleria 3 wins|score

hoisht... [05 Jan 2007|07:35pm] [ music | Remember to Breathe - Dashboard Confessional ] ano bang sabi ng mga baraha? Bagong taon na!!! Ngayong bagong taon... ngayong mas matanda nako... ngayong marami na akong pinagdaanan, ngayong nadanasan ko ng buhatin ang mabigat na mundo... ngayon naman ako babawi... sa aing sarili sa aking pamilya sa aking buhay sa aking mga kaibigan sa aking nakaligtaan wow. 2006 was hell of a year for me. and still, i have a big hangover but no worries i'll be fine. 2006 was a year of trials in my life. Mostly... wrong decisions were made and i feel this is the time to correct them and to frickin straighten up my life I feel like I am looking from the outside and just staring at what my life was before. what a big frustration but the new year is here and hence all the chemical imbalances and medical support for incompetence, i am i am better now and i am just grateful for it. so, here i am, my armor, shield and weapons are ready once more but this time i fight wisely. i fight because i need to survive and because i am fighting for myself and for my mother, and my family one thing i've learned also is that... you. every each of us in this world belongs to a perfect place fits perfectly without question to something and i believe that it is family because whatever happens your family, even how disfunctional or imperfect it may seem... you are they're own, so love them dearly because they're beautiful and ugly at the same time and when you turn your back from them you will only find out in the end that they are still there behind you and will forever be and to dreams! and to perfect love most especially in dreams i live for that i live for that perfection only the heart can feel and describe and for loving in silence and for eternal love that burns inside of me and for that no one that i will forever belong to thank you Welcome 2 0 0 7 happy New year to all. And cheers to my new short hair! 1 win|score

Bagong Taon... Bagong Ano? [20 Dec 2006|05:23pm] [ music | Grace - Kate Havnevik ] Bagong taon!!! Ano nanaman kaya ang mga new year's resolutions ko? save money mag exercise muli fear somethin learn about the bank save money work to death gumawa ng maraming pelikula gumawa ng may katuturan gumawa ng may katuturan ... oonga save moolah wag masyadong mag hibernate... (ay di ko kaya... erase) magbasa ng 4 na libro kada buwan mag daydream every hour save money ulet kumuha ng maraming piktyurs (that means bring your camera everywhere engot) magaral ng mabute save ulet pasko na pala in a couple of days... Merry Christmas everyone... =) 4 wins|score

under the milkyway [14 Nov 2006|04:00am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | the fray - how to save a life ] and so... it's a great start... my companion, the apple, the mac ans the ipod as well... had its way of telling me to clean up... the systems, had its way of telling me that all of them files, can just dissipate into thin air... so what do you do? back up. wise. wise isn't it? yup. you said it. After all the hard work i've put in... the words i've tried so much to keep afloat to my memory and the likes... are gone. all hard work... gone. and so it is actually best, that all of us... get to know that genius of backing up. and so, i am back to ground zero. step one: download, rip cds, etc. step two: fix em filenames will ya? step three: don't rush... take it slow. one or two softwares at a time step four: frickin back up. come on. spend for an external hard drive... and don't settle for them cheap ones. it's your life at stake. and there. im now trying to climb my wack back to the top of the chain. i lost so much. duh. bring em all back and just a reminder... books, they will never be nonexistent even if technology becomes above us. so, if you're a writer or any sort of whatnots... write them down on paper and keep em in a box. it's still different when you can hold them and smell the sweet scent of nostalgia. 1 win|score

on m y o w n [24 Oct 2006|09:29am] detach attach detach attach de tach at tach d e ta ch a t ta ch score

ewan ko sa inyo... basta alam ko masarap ang mapaso at masaktan... di ako masokista.... basa dali. [13 Oct 2006|03:20pm] [ mood | shhhh... wag magulo ] [ music | the fray - how to save a life ] Pain... there are a million ways to handle it. but now, i allow myself to hurt to feel it to suffer because one way or another i cannot... escape escapism it will just lead to a bigger hurt a deeper wound a heavier burden that's why, i allow myself to hurt. i am different now, i am sort of raw... fresh meat. new born in a way. without the safety net me. venturing out to the world without protection allowing myself to become human not letting myself to the illusion that everything's going to be okay. i do know that, but it will only be okay when you let yourself feel all the elements of being that human edge? how to you get your edge? different ways different ways.... don't... don't find a way that will let you become less human because you'll turn into a cold corpse or maybe a robot or whatever, Phaedrus even, i dunno and then you'll end up being alone and lonely or dependent to whatever ways you can become deader than you are already so i will let myself feel every bit of pain because for me that is the most appropriate thing to do then you can stop denying... because it is hard so why the fuck deny it? Life... it's hard. accept it. frickin rejoice over it because if it was too damn easy, then how will you decipher what you stand for? what you believe in? there are no short cuts in life anyway... or maybe there are some but who would want to take the shorter route when the longer one has a better view, better road... you can even sing out loud and you will have more time to enjoy the drive yeah. enjoy the ride. prepare even and always count on yourself know this and that and travel always. because life.... one hell of a journey. yea it is. so live it. welcome it... *** kaya ikaw... naku, wag mo kong gamitin. wag mo na pilitin yung hindi pupwede kasi hindi ako pupunta hindi dadaan ka pa sa ibang tao bat di ka kaya tumawag sakin? di mo kasi kaya...... tama na. ha? kasi masakit eh... masakit... huh? ikaw din nasaktan? saan? teka... masakit din? uh.... anong gusto mong gawin ko? uh... sorry... busy ako.. oo, busy ako magpagaling hindi ako plastik so wag tayp magdramahan iiyak ka nanaman... im sure. kaya ko din umiyak on cue pa.... kaya wag na save it for those people na pwede mo pang magoyo baket kamo? pagod nako maawa sayo oo, kakapagod kaya yaan mo muna ako. masakit, mahirap hindi ko ide-deny so.. mas mahirap tong ginagawa ko. yung alin? yung pagiging totoo ko sa sarili ko yung pagiging honest sa mga tao sa sarili ko mahirap yun... kaya mo ba? hmmmm... hindi ako artista pag hindi ako umaarte wala naman camera o... bakit ako aarte tao ako... wag mo kong igaya sa mga nalulunod jan sa showbiz tao ako hindi ako artista tao.... tao. may karapatan akong masaktan at hindi magsinungaling sa sakit. so fuck off dahil di ako ready. score

asawa... ako? Aba e OO! Hahahha [15 Sep 2006|12:19pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | 4 non blondes - what's up ] Buhay may asawa, BAW! Still adjusting. hehehe Masaya. Mejo bawal pang lumabas labas. heheheh Yes, you decide things together and all the likes. uh huh. Wala lang. Gusto ko  lang magsulat. Hay. May asawa nako. Can you believe it? Yeah... How time flies. Fuck, i really never thought I'd get married... or at least this early. but yeah... I have a beautiful ring on my finger, two tattoos (more to come), and a husband. There there... there i go. as Mrs. P. feels weird, you may ask? yeah, it does. hahahahahaha *** ukay ukay nato..... *** nag enroll na rin ako ng sewing class  sa F.I.P. uhuh mananahi na rin ako yahoo... *** uh, there and back again. Mary poppins *** eto.... natututo na ako gumamit ng 4 columnar book for my accounting. naks... yes..... calculating money and going to the bank.. yehey. Unti-unti ko nang natutunan ang mga bagay na gusto kong matuklasan... uhuh *** I love Dilana and I prefer tobi than lukas bleft *** You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose. You alone steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today, tomorrow or in any distant time to come. You hold the tiller. You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it. It's always your next move.  guyzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. 8 wins|score

buga buga thoughts [11 Sep 2006|01:14am] I'm married. =) i'm happy. *** I'm sick. colds and cough. basa ng ulan sa taping kahapon. *** I've been going to work alone and usually our location is in Pook Silang and Tagaytay. And i usually convoy with the service of the production. So I wake up earlier and arrive on the set, earlier then my co-actors. Anyway, to cut to the chase, I just want to say I really enjoy driving in the morning or even before when it's going home time at around 2 -3 am. I like the fact that I get to dive and sing my heart out, and most of all, I'm alone. It's a sort of thing that I truly enjoy because, I don't know really. The drive to the location is my time, my own. and I love it. It's so peaceful and i love to drive and drive and drive. *** I like my new show, Super inggo. I love the story, love the kids, love my director, love everyone... even the golden bibe. hay. o l just love working, period. *** And I'm lovin it... School. Yes. I'm backto school... pattern making at th fashion institute of the phils. Fuck, school makes me so high. i love every bit of it. *** Beren and Luthien will be able to go to that faraway place they fantasize about... In time... there will have their time. *** i love em oranges. keep them coming. *** buga buga 30 wins|score

[03 Sep 2006|04:15am] [ music | gorecki - Lamb ] and then our sadness couldn't be hidden these uncertainties, these dreams, these fairy tales they happen  but they close a chapter so fast, sometimes time itself will defy you to savor the moment. fair unfair what difference does it make? now, i see things clearly but  my heart says differently. i am going to miss the unexpected... i am going to miss the experiences that  i will never have... no more score

Take it easy... [01 Sep 2006|04:39pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | gunfires, and voice overs of some x box game ] take it easy... take it easy... maybe I see the world in a different perspective. Well, i've always percieved life differently anyway. but maybe now, i have to accept it's wrong. maybe i see things in a different way wrongly. I have to give up so many things to fucking take it easy. My exhibit, my script.... I have to let go of these.... theses are my babies... my passion. but I have to have them on hold. Letting go is really hard huh? But I guess, i have to listen now. Now, is the time to do right things, right? Yes, I am convincing myself... So do not bother. Will i be alright? As of now, I wil try my best to. I do not really have a choice right? Right, God? Yeah... let's leave it at that. as long as the fire ignites, I shouldn't worry about time right? i might have all the time in the world in the years to come.... or not. I dunno... I just have one question? How can you take it easy when the world is so ready for you? And you are ready for the world? Yeah, i am seeing it wrong.... i am wrong. i am wrong. I am wrong. I am wrong. Now I have to calm my heart down and savor what's in front of me. The passion inside of me will have to be controlled. hard. hard hard. score

to destroy thy blood, is to destroy thyself... Prepare son of God. [25 Aug 2006|10:01pm] [ mood | disgust disgust ] [ music | heartbeat, yes, my heartbeat ] the unimaginable anger overwhelmed me today... to kill, to hurt... bloodshed if only I had wings I would have chosen to be an eagle.... To saor high and see everything of what the world has to offer. You cannot envisage the hurt a man can cause you. For all my life, he was the stranger. The enemy. The wanted, but now.. the unwanted. If only water is thicker than blood, then I can easily dispose my tremendous fury into waste. But life is real and the world is not a paradise. not yet. not now I've always believed that if there is darkness, the next thing that will come unto all of us is light... Apparently, darkness can be darker than hell. And yes without struggle there is no progress.  but nevemind the whole theoretical depresessing world we have for it is as it is. People are mean, yes they are. And when they see only one side of their face they become the beasts which have souls who will never heal, for they do not know about iot maybe... Ignorance is not bliss... Ignorance is plainly just ignorance. Fine lad you think of him... A big heart you thin he own... Yeah. Big,. Big enought to destroy small hearts around him. And you see him giving his whole self to the world yet at home he destroys the core of his own family. I just do not comprehend how a general can put his own men down. He is a criminal in my eyes. A criminal because for years he has been killiing hearts,. Killing women, killing childfren. And whatever happens...... The truth sill shall prevail. Forgive? My whole soul has been scarred. i am wounded and i am a handicapped. In short, I can dispense to all of you what I mean... I am a rag doll. Sewn.. every part. Always trying to be whole, but always, falling apart... the foundation and the sewer just had to made it. They were not the passionate sewers and handicraft makers who puts their soul into what they do. They just do what they had to do. They were given a job that they had to finish... If i can ask one queston... it will be... How can you do it to me like i have no worth to you? As much as I want to surrender my whole self to the Lord, I can't because I need to face you one day and be the one to slap you in the face the whole truth of what kind of a weak man you are. Weak and easy to destroy.... And in no time at all. Mark my words, you will destroy your own thy self. May God bless your soul motherfucker.       Burn 1 win|score

A night of lucid visions and real fantasies [18 Aug 2006|02:47am] Have you ever found a sanctuary in someone's arms? Have you ever found the comfort of the soul in another soul? They merge, they connect, they intertwine, they feel... Forever is a word I will always respect and forever is something that will always exist... In my head, in my heart, in my life. Never is a pact that forever won't be lost. it will always remind me the beauty of true and immense happiness that happens even in a second but will last a lifetime. * i have made my decision and will spread my wings. Now is the time and no one can hold me down. This is a lifetime choice, a lifetime promise that I will give my partner my heart. no doubts, no second thoughts, no energy  pulling me away. * yes is a yes... And i will be true to my word. This is the time. Yes... It is. But still truism of this dream that has been a reality will forever have a safe vault in my heart... score

beautiful [15 Aug 2006|09:23am] what a beautiful morning it is... yes, indeed. the rain gives me serenity and stillness that I need. I have been healed by  it, by the tender drops of water... I am here. You are there and yet it doesn't seem so far. It doesn't feel distant at all. Up there, someone's watching over me, over you... all of us. He is good and kind. My heart is calm and full, of all the love in the world. Life has shown me the true meaning of friendship, loyalty and life. My soul is enriched by the passion that I intend to nourish until the end. beautiful... ain't it. uh... back to adoring the sweet weather. score

sigh... the beauty of acting [13 Aug 2006|04:42am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | rain ] errant souls, rain creatures, confident minds, naked apes. Attraction Actors for free. - from my good friend that coul've beenroom   score

talk about lov e scenes.... [12 Aug 2006|03:01am] I had my first lo ve scene i(with contact) i have ever don in my entire acting career...Because I lve the story so much and I love the actors I am woriking with... I can't wait for sunday... I love you luv.... forever score

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